Chapter 53: Water shot out because I pressed that button

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“I see. Water shot out because I pressed the button for that, uhh, washilet thing, is that right?”

“Y-yes, that’s right. I should have properly explained it to you beforehand, sorry.”


It was only natural for Philia-san and the elves to be surprised.

A toilet seat with such a function was a first for me too.


Back in my parent’s estate, after doing my business, I would use a piece of cloth like hemp to clean my bottom. However, wealthy nobles were usually the only ones who could afford such a thing. Commonfolk meanwhile would use things like leaves or water that they have drawn and stored.


Fabric was scarce in this village, so back when I lived in a medium-sized house as well as the times before, through gathered water was how I cleaned myself. Thankfully, we had water readily available.

However, when my home was upgraded to a large house, the toilet in it evolved.

As for the villagers, the toilets in the apartment building also had the washlet function, pleasing everyone.


“I’m quite…envious of your villagers…”

“Ahaha, it sure is convenient, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is, but…it’s something else I’m envious of…”



She’s envious of something else…?


“A-anyway! How is such a toilet built?”

“I have no clue how it’s normally built, to be honest. You see, this house, the baths, this restroom, and a whole lot of other things in the village are built using my Gift.”

“Your Gift?”

“Oh right, we haven’t talked about that. Well….”


I explained my Gift—how it was considered a useless Gift, how it led to me being exiled, and how I developed this wasteland.


“…no matter how I look at it, it’s a useful Gift. Is your family perhaps a bunch of fools?”

“When I was back there, I myself didn’t know anything about my Gift, including how to activate it. Turns out, if someone else already has ownership over a territory, this Gift won’t activate at all. So back home, it was indeed useless.”


I could probably be called back now that I knew how my Gift worked, but…I didn’t feel any desire to go back at all, to be honest.


“…so then, in other words…we can’t have a toilet like this back in our hamlet.”


Philia-san then groan in frustration.


“Perhaps we can find a way to build it manually…?”


    ◇ ◇ ◇


Rather than let them go home the same day they arrived, I had asked the elves to stay the night.

There weren’t that many of them, so I decided to let them stay here in my estate rather than in the one Dant-san’s group used.


The next morning.


“You can stay for another day or so, you know.”

“Thanks for the offer, but the people back in our hamlet will surely worry if we stay any longer.”

“You have a point. But please do try to visit again in the future.”

“You can count on that. You have a beautiful village here—with great tasting food, warm baths, and a clean environment. We’d certainly visit as much as we can.”


With some reluctance, the elves have decided to depart from our village.

They were anxiously on guard initially, but they were now relaxed and even seem to have taken a liking to our village. If nothing else, they seem to have fallen in love with our baths, based on the fact that they took a second bath last night and then again shortly after waking up this morning.


“Huh? Where’s Philia-san?”

“The commander said earlier that she’s going to use the toilet.”


Now that I think on it, I feel like Philia-san has used the restroom so many times since yesterday. She doesn’t have an upset stomach, does she?


Worried, I came to check on her.

When I was near enough, I heard a voice from within the restroom.


“Mhm…Haaa…so…so good…! T…there…ahhhhhhhhhhh!”


I silently yet quickly turned around.

Yup, I didn’t hear anything. Nothing at all.


After a while, Philia-san showed up. She had an extremely elated expression on her face.


“We feel so thankful for your hospitality. I trust it wouldn’t be a problem if we return someday, right?”

“Uhh, no problem at all.”


While trying my best to look calm, I nodded.

I heard nothing…I heard nothing at all…


Like that, the elves left our village and made their way back to the forest.


Wikipedia page of washlet

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13 thoughts on “Chapter 53: Water shot out because I pressed that button”

  1. I can’t help but think of Hogan’s Heroes and Sergeant Schulz shouting ‘I heard nothing! I know nothing!’


  2. Samuel Seiichi Inoue said:

    Hey, c’mon… everyone needs some “private” time, right? XD

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You filthy ass elf, the hell are you doing in someone else’s home? That’s it, isn’t it? You want that toilet that much, huh? You don’t care about Luke, you just want the fucking toilet~! Women only want one thing, and it’s disgusting.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. MeNameJeff said:

    Oh she making love love to that bidet huh?-

    I mean I heard nothing and saw nothing and felt nothing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Daeng Yoja said:

    EROFU indeed

    Liked by 7 people

  6. Bamboocha said:

    Thanks for the chapter.


  7. Lonjest said:

    Thanks for the chapter.

    Eventually his territory could expand into the forest they live in and he can accept them into his domain allowing him to build a village in the forest. I’m thinking his gift will allow for adjustment like it already does and allow him to make the forest village out of trees or in the trees, something of that nature I’m guessing.

    But I think the elves will just move into his village just like everyone else that’s moved there.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Muito Obrigado por este capítulo.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. She REALLY likes that bidet.
    Also, if they let him create an embassy in their village for trade and so forth, it would be considered his territory. thus he could create a huge bath house with restroom facilities.
    Although we all know the elves are most likely just going to become villagers..
    Thanks for the hard work translating!

    Liked by 3 people

  10. kirindas said:

    Thanks for the new chapter!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Thanks for the chapter!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Thank you!

    We read nothing as well.

    Liked by 4 people

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